As I'm often prone to in the evenings...I indulged in the most recent news articles coming in from around the world via the usual channels: Google News, CNN, MSNBC, and the New York Times. Whilst reading an article about the Secret Service's recent flap at the White House kegger for the Indian Prime Minister, I saw a pattern; the inner geek in me couldn't help but stitch the tapestry together. The President is just like Thrall from the mythical city of Orgrimmar in the World of Warcraft....think about it...he lives in a big capital city that pretty much is the capital of the continent where it was birthed...just like Washington D.C. is the capital of the United States...or Les États-Unis for mes amis overseas ;). Okay...so maybe that's just a little hint for what I'm really getting at. It amazes me how different we (collectively speaking...those of us who exist on Earth at this very instant) think our governments are today from political structures of the past. At the surface, there's not a whole lot of difference between an archetypal king and the President of the United States.
A King...
-lives in a castle....generally the focal point of the kingdom
-has a trusted council of advisers, often consisting of close family and friends
-commands an army
-is defended by a small, but highly trained group of faithful knights
-retains sheriffs (e.g. Sherriff of Nottingham) who enforce the rule of the land
The President...
-lives in the White House in the nation's capital
-is advised by his trusted cabinet before arriving at final decisions
-is the Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces
-is surrounded and protected by the Secret Service at all times
-has police who enforce the rule of law
Think about it.... :) Any other perceived similarities are welcomed and encouraged!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Bonjour!
Hello blog-o-sphere! I've started a new chapter in my life and with it comes the birth of the Anatomy of Alexander. With new beginnings come prior endings so here's the ending that's kicking off my new chapter in the form of an open letter.
Dear Juice,
Hey, it was good to see you recently. Where to begin? Well, I guess I'll start by saying, "I understand." I understand why you didn't often return messages or calls for that near two-year span. After going through a situation myself with someone else, it has really widened my eyes and given me a lot of perspective on you and I as well as our dynamic. Without going into too much detail, I got involved with someone and I had to break it off. She was far too overwhelming and, yeah, all the other things that go along with that. In the beginning I had no clue she was so needy and ultimately, the pressure of being the end all be all of this person's life really freaked me out and caused me to withdraw and clam up. I'm sure you know this better than anybody, but I've always been honest and open to a fault. Well, after the kind of honesty I experienced with this woman, I'm starting to rethink my views on the expression of honesty...I haven't arrived at a conclusion yet...but I'm definitely reevaluating my long held position on the topic. I felt a grand epiphany after receiving a few heavy txts from said woman and that epiphany was that I felt in our dynamic...I was like this woman and you're like me. For the first time, I was able to see that strange span of time between us through your eyes and it has put a lot in perspective. Our last visit also put a lot in perspective for me, too. I feel the need to express myself so that I have peace of mind...I know, selfish...but I need to express my thoughts so that there's never an instance in which I wish I'd said something I didn't.
My visit to LA was to see my best friend as well as get a better grip on what our dynamic was like. There were questions in my mind that could only be answered by interacting with you in person. That being said...you look like you're doing really well and what you have seems like a great set up: a comfy living situation with a great network of friends around you...I'm happy for you :). The main point of the visit was to get a feel for whether there my be some hint of a future for us. I'd be lying if I was to say that you weren't a big factor when it came to moving to L.A. County. My thoughts were that I'd reside in L.A. for a while and apply to a number of schools and if things went well between us, I'd stay around the LA area. Well, as the time marches on...given the status quo...I've come to feel that this is a bad decision. It's kind of funny and ironic in the sense that I've spent so many months and devoted quite a large bit of energy, time, and thought to working toward something with you that to now just throw in the towel seems laughable...yet, that's the feeling I came away with after our last rendezvous. Between you and this other woman...my idealistic view of relationships has left me and I have come to hard conclusions about certain things. I think I've been depending on women to make me happy for many years and it's very recently clear to me that a woman cannot bring me happiness, it's found within one's self. The second thing is that one can't really be happy in a relationship if one is a "half." In other words...if one is missing something and searching for that completeness in the form of another person, they'll never be successful at being "whole." I believe that most healthy relationships are between two whole people who come together.
Anyhow, I digress...back to the main topic. I'm a family guy and have really missed being around my family. Coming back to Santa Cruz...it's been a treat to be able to live in a house with both of my parents and my little sister. As I thought more about leaving them to spend some time in LA (from January-August before I have to submit my final choice for school) it became less of an option to leave my family so that I'd have the opportunity to roll the dice with you about something I don't think you want. This is why I wanted to visit you...to see if the "juice" was worth the squeeze...pardon that bad pun. What I was looking for from you were signs of where you were at and I think it's obvious that we're coming from different places. In light of that, I think me telling you all of this would scare you away even more than you have been, but I'm not concerned about that...if I was, I wouldn't have composed this message. I'm well aware of our conversation on Skype and how I spoke of how it'd be a shame if we weren't to have a friendship at the very least. But you know what? Life is short and I'm not interested in playing charades anymore and not being forthright with you about what my intentions are. If nothing else, my last question to you before I left ought to have cleared up any misunderstanding about where I'm coming from (e.g. "How do you feel about us."). In that vein, your response cleared up any questions I had (e.g. "I thought we were going to be friends.") I don't think at any point in time that we were ever "just friends." Similarly, I don't think I could ever view you as "just a friend" after our history...it's just not possible for me. The whole reason I presented it to you like that was to warm you up to the idea of an eventual relationship between us. If I'm somehow mistaken about the way you feel, you're more than welcome to correct me...but I don't expect that this message will change anything...nor was that the point of this message. The point of this message was to get some things off my chest and let me come to peace about our whole situation...to put it behind me. I've been living in the past for way too long...but I have many fond memories...so thank you for the warm ones and I wish you the best of luck in any endeavor you set your mind to.
~Alexander~
Dear Juice,
Hey, it was good to see you recently. Where to begin? Well, I guess I'll start by saying, "I understand." I understand why you didn't often return messages or calls for that near two-year span. After going through a situation myself with someone else, it has really widened my eyes and given me a lot of perspective on you and I as well as our dynamic. Without going into too much detail, I got involved with someone and I had to break it off. She was far too overwhelming and, yeah, all the other things that go along with that. In the beginning I had no clue she was so needy and ultimately, the pressure of being the end all be all of this person's life really freaked me out and caused me to withdraw and clam up. I'm sure you know this better than anybody, but I've always been honest and open to a fault. Well, after the kind of honesty I experienced with this woman, I'm starting to rethink my views on the expression of honesty...I haven't arrived at a conclusion yet...but I'm definitely reevaluating my long held position on the topic. I felt a grand epiphany after receiving a few heavy txts from said woman and that epiphany was that I felt in our dynamic...I was like this woman and you're like me. For the first time, I was able to see that strange span of time between us through your eyes and it has put a lot in perspective. Our last visit also put a lot in perspective for me, too. I feel the need to express myself so that I have peace of mind...I know, selfish...but I need to express my thoughts so that there's never an instance in which I wish I'd said something I didn't.
My visit to LA was to see my best friend as well as get a better grip on what our dynamic was like. There were questions in my mind that could only be answered by interacting with you in person. That being said...you look like you're doing really well and what you have seems like a great set up: a comfy living situation with a great network of friends around you...I'm happy for you :). The main point of the visit was to get a feel for whether there my be some hint of a future for us. I'd be lying if I was to say that you weren't a big factor when it came to moving to L.A. County. My thoughts were that I'd reside in L.A. for a while and apply to a number of schools and if things went well between us, I'd stay around the LA area. Well, as the time marches on...given the status quo...I've come to feel that this is a bad decision. It's kind of funny and ironic in the sense that I've spent so many months and devoted quite a large bit of energy, time, and thought to working toward something with you that to now just throw in the towel seems laughable...yet, that's the feeling I came away with after our last rendezvous. Between you and this other woman...my idealistic view of relationships has left me and I have come to hard conclusions about certain things. I think I've been depending on women to make me happy for many years and it's very recently clear to me that a woman cannot bring me happiness, it's found within one's self. The second thing is that one can't really be happy in a relationship if one is a "half." In other words...if one is missing something and searching for that completeness in the form of another person, they'll never be successful at being "whole." I believe that most healthy relationships are between two whole people who come together.
Anyhow, I digress...back to the main topic. I'm a family guy and have really missed being around my family. Coming back to Santa Cruz...it's been a treat to be able to live in a house with both of my parents and my little sister. As I thought more about leaving them to spend some time in LA (from January-August before I have to submit my final choice for school) it became less of an option to leave my family so that I'd have the opportunity to roll the dice with you about something I don't think you want. This is why I wanted to visit you...to see if the "juice" was worth the squeeze...pardon that bad pun. What I was looking for from you were signs of where you were at and I think it's obvious that we're coming from different places. In light of that, I think me telling you all of this would scare you away even more than you have been, but I'm not concerned about that...if I was, I wouldn't have composed this message. I'm well aware of our conversation on Skype and how I spoke of how it'd be a shame if we weren't to have a friendship at the very least. But you know what? Life is short and I'm not interested in playing charades anymore and not being forthright with you about what my intentions are. If nothing else, my last question to you before I left ought to have cleared up any misunderstanding about where I'm coming from (e.g. "How do you feel about us."). In that vein, your response cleared up any questions I had (e.g. "I thought we were going to be friends.") I don't think at any point in time that we were ever "just friends." Similarly, I don't think I could ever view you as "just a friend" after our history...it's just not possible for me. The whole reason I presented it to you like that was to warm you up to the idea of an eventual relationship between us. If I'm somehow mistaken about the way you feel, you're more than welcome to correct me...but I don't expect that this message will change anything...nor was that the point of this message. The point of this message was to get some things off my chest and let me come to peace about our whole situation...to put it behind me. I've been living in the past for way too long...but I have many fond memories...so thank you for the warm ones and I wish you the best of luck in any endeavor you set your mind to.
~Alexander~
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